This semester has been different in a lot of ways...and if I'm gunna be really honest, it hasn't been my favorite one so far! Not much has been easy, and from where I'm sitting, it doesn't much look like "easy" is anywhere close by. Things I've found so much comfort in no longer hold that for me...and maybe that seems like a bad thing, but it's not! I kind of amazes me how the LORD is always faithful to show me Himself and His goodness and how amazingly satisfying He is, even when my sweet Papa has cancer and family members I love are rejecting Christ and school and ministry are so hard. I lack NOTHING! How great is our God?! And even in the midst of those hard things, the blessings and good things in my life are overwhelming! I have so much more than so many others in this world...and yet, even those good and great things can't compare with this LORD. Compared to Him, they hold nothing for me. I'm reading the book Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper in my dgroup...the chapter I finished up today was talking about how the cross of Christ is the "blazing center" of God's glory and how we're called to boast only and fully in it. "Life is wasted if we do not grasp the glory of the cross, cherish it for the treasure that it is, and cleave to it as the highest price of every pleasure and the deepest comfort in every pain." HE is GOOD. He has purchased every good thing for me by His blood, and He is why trials hold no power over me. Blows my mind...I desperately want to live this!
So as I am learning these things and fighting to live them in true belief, and I am also facing some decisions. I have been given two awesome opportunities to spend my summer following Christ and making Him known. These past few months I really feel like the LORD has been revealing to me His heart for all people and all nations. I've never been overseas, never really seen poverty or a different culture. I've never really understood God's purpose and plan for the WORLD. My heart had never grasped the glorious picture of Revelation 7 and that great multitude of every tongue, tribe, and nation forever worshiping our King. But He has really begun to teach me and show my heart the truth of His heart for the harassed and helpless, for the people of this world that are different than me. I've been reading Radical by David Platt as well, and I really believe that this is not just a special calling for a few dedicated, but a purpose of us as the body of Christ! I am not exempt! To have Christ's heart, I must have a heart for ALL people...not just Troy or Americans, but also the people of Haiti who are devastated and hurting, the thousands of unreached people groups who have never heard the name of Jesus, the billions of people in this world. And true belief and compassion is one that moves and GOES. So learning all of this, I am so tired of just hearing and thinking "wow this is good stuff!" yet staying right where I am. Through a contact from my home church, I found an organization called Adventures in Missions. They offer numerous summer trips overseas to all kinds of places doing all kinds of things to serve people and spread the gospel, and I have applied to go with a team to Haiti for the summer. This particular team would live in a tent community and work with established missionaries to tell those people about the hope of the Gospel and help in a medical clinic, an orphanage, and just helping rebuild their homes. I honestly hadn't felt some great call or burden for the people of Haiti specifically, I just want to GO!
But as I began to apply for that and have some phone interviews with staff members, Clayton and Justin from Campus Outreach here at Troy approached me with the opportunity to be a team leader on Summer Beach Project for the summer. I have gone to SBP my past two summers and have been involved with CO since my freshman year at Troy, and i LOVE it! The LORD has used SBP in mighty ways in my life each summer, and I am convinced of this type of discipleship. I'm looking to graduate spring of 2012, and this may very well be one of the last times I will be able to go to beach project and receive this kind of training, which is so life-changing! I want to be trained and learn more, I want to pour my life into people and take part in training new leaders to go and make His Name great on our campus!
So here I am with two amazing choices, but only one summer. I guess I'm just at this place of how the heck do you choose between two things that are obviously making Him known and allowing me to know Him more? I see the great value of both, and I see His hand in both. I just desperately want to follow HIM and walk in obedience that exalts Him and His purpose. I don't trust myself to choose...I see how sick and deceitful my heart is...I feel like having pure motives is impossible! My prayer has been that He would make it clear, that He would light my path with His Word and guide me. I'm going to pay my application fee to Haiti as soon as I get finish this, and I believe with all of my heart that He will shut the door if that's not what He would have me do. Praise the LORD He's so concerned with His own glory that He promises to lead me : ) So we shall see...I'm already excited!
"And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left." - Isaiah 30:21
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